Friday, 20 January 2012

Kate's Recipe Submission for Nigella

What can I say?  I'm sorry Nigella.  I really tried.  Perhaps to make up for my lack of pencil prowess, you'd be interested in the following recipe I've created in honour of this attempt at drawing you?  I'd be more than happy for you to use it in your next book.

Kate's 'I'm really sorry I mucked it up Nigella Melange"


1 copy of Forever Summer (2005)  by Nigella Lawson

1 sheet of paper.  Use a triple milled, fine grade for the best results.

2 pencils, thoroughly sharpened.  I personally like to use handmade pencils that I found in a tiny village in the Pyrenees, although any old HB will do.

1 Eraser.  Use a good quality eraser here.  You want the rubbing out to be of the best quality possible.

1 pencil sharpener.  Once again, you must use a good sharpener.  You don't want your pencils to be blunt.  If you can't find one of my special edition pencil sharpeners available exclusively from a little shop just around the corner from Harrods, then I'd urge you to try using a hand crafted paring knife to gently ease the wood away from the lead.  Be gentle here with just a touch of gusto.

1 dash of bravado and

a pinch of frustration


1. Preheat oven to 160C / gas mark 3.

2. Carefully observe the beautiful lines of Nigella's face and envy how perfect her nose, eyes and lips are.  Be in awe of her luscious hair and delectable eye-brows.

3. Try to draw Nigella.  Make sure you include the ever so slightly innocent yet "come hither" look in her eyes and the ever so slight twist to her full, robust lips.  

4.  Realise after five minutes that you've mucked Nigella up.  Rub out eyes, lips, nose and cheekbones.  Leave the left eye-brow in place.  Now THAT was well done and a brow to be proud of!

5.  Start again.  Rub out.

6.  Repeat.

7.  Start to feel just a twinge of frustration as you try to emulate Nigella's stunning, tumbling hair.

8.  Give up half way through.

9.  Proceed to page 207 of Nigella's  Forever Summer cookbook and proceed to prepare the Vanilla Shortbread, devouring half before it gets into the oven in a true moment of self-pity.

10.  Feel much better and make a promise to apologise to Nigella by writing a blog post about it.

Hope you like it Nigella, once again, feel free to use it in your next cookbook!  I'm now off to eat the picture to hide any evidence that I ever tried to draw you.


1 comment:

  1. Honest to goodness, I re-read this post I wrote tonight and I simply can't believe there isn't someone else out there in the world that also finds this funny. Is it really just me?! :-)

    If I'm not alone, post here!

    Go on....

    I dare you!


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